Multitasking doesn't work, especially in our relationships. Richard Borofsky and Antra Kalnins Borofsky, master teachers in the art of intimacy, share this key relationship advice: put your phones down and reconnect with each other using one of these practices today.

The explosion of technology has really made time speed up. Everybody is practicing multitasking and trying to keep a number of balls in the air. This has taken a real toll on the intimacy of couples, and so couples have to consciously learn and practice how to stop, slow down, and give each other undivided attention.

When you are generating love, love becomes the ultimate renewable resource. —Richard Borofsky and Antra Kalnins Borofsky

Practices for Connecting

In our workshops, we practice very simple, gentle breathing together, where you touch your partner in some way and you can feel your partner’s breathing. You focus your attention on your own breathing and their breathing, and then play a lovely piece of music. It’s remarkable. First people might feel a little awkward, but each time they have a chance to do it, they just settle in more deeply. It’s a very simple way of restoring the connection. 

You can also take a minute to gaze into your partner’s eyes. Just let yourself bathe in the warmth of experiencing the other’s being, really letting yourself be in that soul-connected moment. That can sustain you for a week, or at least the rest of the day. 

There are also phrases that we encourage our clients to use, simple phrases like, “Here we are.” And that wakes people up to being present with each other.

Regenerating Love

What has been true for us, and what we see for other couples, is that when you are generating love, love becomes the ultimate renewable resource. When you’ve learned how to keep renewing that love, then that becomes the engine for all of your life. It runs everything and you can get more done. You can do it more efficiently. You can let go of what you can’t do and feel okay about letting it go. You can accept in some way the fast pace of our culture. It becomes more bearable when you have this reservoir of love that you’ve collected, grown, and cultivated.

@ 2017 Omega Institute for Holistic Studies

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