Humans confuse confidence with conceit. They are stuck in the dualistic distortion that wants you to think that because I love myself, then I am somehow in opposition to you.
Self-love isn’t about separation, or comparison, or hierarchy. It has nothing to do with anyone else.
Self-love is only about our relationship to and with ourselves. It’s about sharing time with ourselves, and learning ourselves, and nurturing ourselves. And it’s about being kind, and compassionate, and generous, and accepting with every single aspect of ourselves, even the ones we wish were different.
Fill Your Own Cup
Healthy relationships are created from the inside first. I have so many clients who come to me complaining about all the things they’re not getting from their spouse, or their friends, or their family, or their coworkers, while their soul is telling me that they aren’t giving these things to themselves.
As if it’s anyone else’s responsibility to fulfill our needs for us. Please.
When we carry around these expectations that it’s other people’s responsibility to make us feel good, or to make us feel loved, or to make us feel worthy, our relationships become transactional and codependent, and we get resentful.
If you’re wanting people to honor your time, and your gifts, then you need to honor your time, and you need to honor your gifts.
If you’re yearning to feel loved, and to feel good, and to feel beautiful, and worthy, and amazing, then you need to start loving on yourself, and making yourself feel good, and beautiful, and worthy, and amazing.
Lack consciousness isn’t just about the numbers in our bank account, or the material possessions we don’t have. Lack consciousness is also about the energies and emotions we are wanting to experience, but that we are not giving to ourselves—energies like kindness, and laughter, and affection, and relaxation, and play.
When we love ourselves, we learn to give ourselves these energies and these experiences, instead of burdening the people in our lives with the responsibility of doing it for us.
Spirit Hack: Shamanic Infusion for Self-Love
Shamanic infusions are a great way to flood the body with amazing, high-vibrational energy through the breath. The breath is a powerful tool in many ancient spiritual traditions, including traditional Hawaiian shamanism.
Hawaiian shamans call upon the air spirits to bring certain energies into their bodies by way of the breath. You can use shamanic infusions to bring in any energy you want, but for this one, we’re going to use self-love.
This spirit hack is a great way to develop mental, emotional, and spiritual immunity, because self-love is what allows us to move through the world unaffected by external events or circumstances.
Ultimately, you can practice shamanic infusions lying down. But when you’re first starting out, you want to be sitting upright, so that you can be sure to stay awake.
As well, you definitely want to practice this one with bare feet, and your legs uncrossed. Crossing the legs locks up the flow of energy. Be sure to remove any belts or watches, as well, so as to minimize restrictions. Then follow these simple steps:
- Sitting comfortably in a chair, with your feet touching the ground, become aware of your breath.
- Speak these words in your mind while inhaling deeply: I breathe self-love into my body.
- As you exhale, feel the love circulating throughout your body. You can direct the love into your limbs, and into your digits. You can direct it into your belly, and into your brain, and into any parts of you needing a little extra love, or you can simply allow the love to permeate your body of its own accord.
- Inhale, repeating the words in your mind: I breathe more self-love into my body.
- Again, exhale, feeling the love permeate your every cell.
- Repeat for 10–15 rounds, or until you feel full of self-love.
While shamanic infusions aren’t a replacement for self-care, they can definitely help when we are depleted, and our vessels are running low. Use this spirit hack as often as you like, especially when you’re feeling like you could use a jolt of self-love.
Adapted from Spirit Hacking: Shamanic Keys to Reclaim Your Personal Power, Transform Yourself, and Light Up the World by Shaman Durek. Copyright © 2019 St. Martin's Essentials.