When you start to get clarity on what it is you are meant to do, that’s when you’ll know it’s time to step outside of your comfort zone little by little. The idea is that the growth zone is exactly that: growth. This is where we get challenged, where we learn. The overwhelming zone is where you are really stretched. It’s downright scary here because you are tested and expected to step up in ways you never have. Little by little, you can start to master this zone and get more comfortable when it presents itself.
The Overwhelming Zone
I recently visited the overwhelming zone. I was in Nepal, and I had an opportunity to visit an ancient cave surrounded by lots of mystical lore. This cave was physically extremely dangerous to enter, and it was even more dangerous to explore, requiring Spider Man–like moves not to fall deep down and die. For me, this embodied the overwhelming zone. I chose to do something I was terrified of. I was willing to take a risk in order to grow. I knew this cave had something to offer me, and indeed, I had a mystical experience while there. It was physically dangerous, yes, but also emotionally dangerous.
The deeper down I went, the more feelings started to come up. Old stuff I thought I had resolved. It all came to dance at the same time—insecurities, deep feelings of hurt and regret, imposter syndrome, self-loathing, and shame. I met all these parts of myself, one by ugly one, and I had the opportunity to uncover a new level of spacious awareness and deeper compassion to be with these feelings, let them pass, and not become them, without them leaving any psychological aftertaste. This was what the cave had to offer me. The experience is not something I could ever recreate; what’s significant is that I did it when the right opportunity arose. As you continue to develop yourself, you’ll know when it’s time to step into the overwhelming zone and experience all the growth that’s there for you. I think of it as taking a spiritual lawnmower to unwholesome karmic weeds that have started to sprout unbeknownst to you, and despite all the work you’ve already done. Each day is going to offer you your own version of an ancient, mystical cave in Nepal, and you will have the opportunity to go in or stay put. Are you willing to grow? Are you willing to enter?
This is not to say that you can’t find your purpose in the comfort zone, but you won’t be able to fully live your purpose there. That day at the cave, I had a friend who decided not to enter; that was fine, that was his choice. In that moment, he needed to stay in his comfort zone, where there was already enough growth for him. But I strongly believe that in the big picture, we need to step out of our comfort zone, into the growth zone, and then into the overwhelming zone in order to actually live our purpose.
Stepping Out
When I say you may be able to find your purpose in your comfort zone, that’s because it may be right in front of you. You just haven’t looked hard enough. We need to experiment with many different things in order to go from being a dabbler to a master. How? By doing many different things, not all at the same time, but by giving yourself some deadlines: “I’m gonna try this out, then I’m gonna try that out.” Take it step by step until the side hustle becomes the main hustle.
It’s in this process of trying new things, including things that scare us, that we continually get knocked down and eventually fail forward. Eventually, we bounce forward. By testing our material and regularly stepping out of our comfort zone, into the growth zone, and then into the overwhelming zone, we get to know our purpose and actually apply our gifts, our superpowers.
As you take these small steps, it’s important to check in with yourself. At the end of each day, ask yourself these questions:
- What did I learn today from stepping out of the comfort zone into the growth zone?
- What did I learn today from going from the growth zone into the overwhelming zone?
- What is helping me bounce forward?
We’re going to need to fall and fail multiple times as we test our material—as we follow our curiosity and activate our superpower—out in the world, not only in a holy cave in Nepal, but in your real life. When we test our material, we find what we are meant to share. It’s important to remember that your superpower may be hidden by your wounds. For example, one of my wounds was that I had hurt other people and myself and had not found forgiveness. Lack of forgiveness is what led me to start learning about compassion, training my mind, traveling, and learning so much about forgiveness that it became obvious this was my path and part of my superpower as a teacher: to show people how to do the same for themselves.
Slipping & Falling
I slipped on my way out of the cave and it was almost bad. Our guide grabbed me just in time, and with the tips of my fingers I struggled to catch hold of his hand. This is yet another metaphor for life. Slipping, falling, and failing are all part of the journey. There is no movement without these things, no growth. When I finally got out of the cave intact, I had such a profound sense of gratitude for life, such a pristine picture of my personal purpose, I swear, the whole universe was in on it. Dusk was approaching, and the first thing I saw as I emerged was the giant, round, full moon rising. The guide helped me out, put a gold scarf around my neck, and whispered sacred mantras in my ear. Those witnessing said there were birds flying around us in a circle. I felt like I had received a transmission for the next stage of my liberation, and I had a renewed passion to share my learnings with the world.
I’m sharing this story with you not because you need to go to Nepal and have the exact same experience (you don’t!), but because this experience is such a powerful metaphor for the idea of the comfort zone/growth zone/overwhelming zone and a lesson in what can happen when you allow, when you are willing, when you go inside.
