Each of us has a divine destiny. We are constantly moving and evolving into this destiny. At times, our progress may be waylaid by life’s detours. But these side trips through bad marriages, dead-end jobs, financial shortfalls, health challenges, and the myriad of other possible hardships are not reasons to lose hope or believe your life is “over.” Life is continually calling us to awaken. We must be open and aware of the deep woundings, destructive beliefs, and negative habits that can keep us frozen in a counterfeit life so we can choose our authentic greatness.
Habits Work For & Against Us
We are creatures of habit. We are hardwired to perform routine tasks automatically, and there’s a biological reason for this.
Our large brains require a lot of energy to operate. As a way to perform optimally during lean times, we developed the ability to complete a routine task on autopilot, without really thinking about what we were doing. This allowed the brain to save energy and concentrate on more important things, like finding the next meal and creating the next generation.
This ability to “autopilot” through a routine task is something we’ve all experienced. Have you ever driven home from the store or work, pulled into your driveway, and realized you have no recollection of the trip? Do you find a shower both relaxing and productive? That’s because you don’t have to actively think about washing yourself, so your mind is free to daydream or brainstorm.
This is also how habits are formed: Do an activity often enough, and your brain will throw the autopilot switch. This can be a good thing when it comes to positive activities, like exercising, making healthy eating choices, and meditating. On the other hand, it can be extremely damaging when it comes to negative actions.
Negative Habits Stem From Core Wounds
Negative habits are nothing more than a pattern of behavior that consistently delivers bad outcomes. These habits are rooted in unconscious energies. Very often they have their source in an emotional core wounding—a trauma from the past that deeply hurts us, shapes our behaviors, and haunts us the rest of our lives. Core wounds are caused by the words and behaviors of others that make us feel like we’re not good enough, not smart enough, or unlovable and unwanted.
No matter what your core wound may be, I guarantee you that it influences who you are and how you react.
Our beliefs are shaped by the constant activation of this wounding. We hear the negative voices of those who should have had our best interests at heart, but didn’t. Because these thoughts and opinions came from people who were in positions of authority, we took them in. We set them in stone, whether they were true or not.
Because of this, these false beliefs carry the same weight as beliefs that are true.
When false beliefs manifest themselves as negative habits, they act as a kind of psychic superglue, keeping us stuck in one place, acting out the same destructive behaviors over and over. Because these beliefs are false, they result in an inauthentic life, one that is far removed from what is possible and from who we are really meant to be. Instead of reaching our potential, we end up shackled to a counterfeit life, constantly overreacting, mired in negativity, and repeating behaviors that prevent us from realizing our dreams.
Living with a core wounding keeps us firmly entrenched in a victim mentality. Everything is being done to us. We are hapless victims in a world that has targeted us for the worst, most painful outcomes. Bad relationships. Ruthless bosses. Ill health. Financial misfortune. Loneliness. Depression. Abuse.
It Doesn’t Have to Be This Way
We have a choice. We can choose to habitually and unconsciously perpetuate our pain, or we can consciously choose to move away from the pain and into the peace that is our essential nature.
The potential in this choice is powerful and possible for every human being. It can explode our existence into new realms and new possibilities or it can construct and bind, tying us into a single moment, or a loop, that is repeated over and over. The difference depends on whether we are operating from pain or peace.
You create the life of your dreams by consistently choosing whatever feels the most loving, expansive, peaceful, or energizing.
If you find yourself disproportionately angry, upset, or emotional to what life is delivering, these are red flags telling you that your core wounding has been activated. Your autopilot switch is thrown and you are now on a slippery slope to old, destructive behaviors, negative reactions, and painful consequences.
When trapped in this cycle, you can believe that there is no hope and no way out. But, nothing could be further from the truth. Right now you have everything you need within you to break the cycle of negativity and begin to live the life of your dreams.
Identify your core wounding. Recognize your false beliefs and negative habits. Realize that they are limiting your choices. Once you know something, you can’t unknow it. Once you drag your false beliefs into the light of truth, their power will diminish. The shackles will fall away and you will be free to be you.
The actual truth is that you are greater than you know. You are stronger than you know. You have within you the courage to do things differently. You can heal your woundings. You can reject the false behaviors and negative habits that lead to a counterfeit life and instead move into the light of authenticity, fully realizing your potential and becoming the person you were always meant to be.
© 2018 Jan Desai. Used with permission.