Relationships are mirror images of your own life, how you feel and treat yourself, as well as how you react and respond to different situations and people that are around you.
All relationships, whether they’re on an emotional, physical, mental, or spiritual level, are part of the learning process and enlightenment of the soul. No matter what category a relationship falls into, it acts as a teaching tool for you to understand the lessons that your soul needs to learn. It can help you to understand, change, or enhance your individual qualities. Every relationship is an opportunity for soul growth. Different types of relationships have an uncanny way of showing you what you need to work on in your life.
At times, they reveal your vulnerabilities and insecurities, or your need for attention, approval, and acceptance. Equally, they can identify where you may be stuck in a rut, or where you need love, peace, healing, or joy in your life.
Sometimes the hardest and most painful relationships can act as our best teachers and guides. Relationships of all kinds are really about you, even in the hardest situations. They’re meant to be mirrors for us, always reflecting back what we need to see. The question is: Do you want to look in this mirror, and be open to what you need to learn, or simply pretend it’s not there and pass it by?
Learning From Past Relationships
If you look back at all your relationships, whatever the situation, you’ll begin to see a pattern. The learning process is all part of guiding you in the direction of where you’re supposed to be. If enough people constantly encourage you to change something in your life, or take up a new hobby, or change something about the way you approach life, perhaps there’s a message there. Equally, a certain relationship can be the catalyst for a major shift. I was seventeen years old when a friend took me to see my first psychic. In the reading, I was told I would live in California, that I would write books, and that I was psychically gifted. Well, being a typical teenager, I just said, “Yeah okay, right.”
That one incident was to be the start of a lifelong journey of learning and understanding as I became aware of spirituality and my own psychic gift. I often wonder what direction my life would have taken if my friend hadn’t taken me to that psychic. Maybe I would have discovered my abilities and spirituality anyway, but much later in life. My friend will never know just how much of a catalyst she was for me. Perhaps our relationship had been two kindred souls connecting and fate had played its part. When people hear the words kindred souls, they automatically think of a love connection. A kindred soul can also be someone who tests your very nerves, but in the end has stretched your potential beyond what you thought possible.
Everyone’s had these types of relationships, you just need to take the time and look into your past. Please remember not all relationships have to be one-on-one with just one individual. They can be with a group, an organization, a pet, or even an incident or situation.
Try This Exercise
Write down in your journal the relationships you’ve had in the past and ask yourself if they guided you in the direction of where you are now or led you away from your purpose. On another page, write down all the relationships that are happening in your life right now. Ask yourself:
- What am I learning from this relationship?
- What qualities am I developing?
- Is this relationship for my highest good?
- How can I make this relationship better?
- Are we learning from each other?
- What have I learned or am still learning about myself through this relationship?
- Are the people in my life empowering and encouraging me to be all that I can be?
Within every relationship, there’s an encoded lesson that you’ve hopefully learned or still need to learn. Some relationships are simply there for you to experience love, or they could be showing you what you don’t want in your next relationship. So when it’s time to develop a relationship, you’ll be more aware and have the ability to manifest the type of relationship you want—one that serves your highest purpose. Whatever the case, when you learn to open your heart and view relationship through the eyes of your soul, you’ll discover an even better relationship that’s waiting for you—the relationship of your soul-self.
Excerpted from Power of the Soul by John Holland. Copyright © by John Holland. Used with permission.