Why Is Staying In Love So Hard? | Omega

Qigong master Robert Peng answers an intriguing question about romantic relationships.  

Omega: In The Master Key, you wrote that “falling in love has more in common with spiritual illumination that we might think. The difference is that in one case, we awaken alone and in the other, we awaken in mutuality.” But you said that mutual awakening isn't easy. Why do our romantic relationships “feel like heaven in the beginning but then a voyage into hell”? What can we do to keep our relationships healthy and happy for the long term?

Robert: Falling in love is easy, but staying in love is hard. Most of the time, you fall in love with someone who complements an energetically “lopsided” part of you. Say, for example, that your Middle Dantian (a subtle energy center in the heart) is weak. If you meet someone who is very loving, you may say to yourself, “Oh, that is just the qi [or life force energy] I need.”

And in turn, whatever energy she or he is missing, you can provide. Maybe you have a stronger Upper Dantian (a subtle energy center between the eyebrows), so you have more wisdom energy to offer. That’s a wonderful feeling in the early stages of a relationship, because you fill each other’s respective energetic deficiencies like two matching pieces of a puzzle. So the relationship makes you both feel more happy and complete.

But if you continue the relationship without balancing your own energetic deficiencies, you can begin to take this kind of compensation from your partner for granted. That can cause resentment. And when a hurdle comes, the relationship is more likely to collapse.

The relationship can go much better if both partners are very aware of what they need to improve and if they empower their energy centers through qigong or another kind of spiritual practice. That way, you’re not just taking; you can give back to your partner in your own unique way. You keep growing together, and any adversity you experience can strengthen your bonds of love. Then your relationship can be spiritual and sweet—and more likely to last a long time.

© 2014 Omega Institute for Holistic Studies

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