Omega: What prompted you to explore what blocks someone's ability to fully love and be loved?

Robyn: In the face of great loss early in my life, I closed my heart to love. My mother got sick when she was 34 years old and I was six. For four years she fought tooth and nail to cure metastatic breast cancer, but it was too late even when the diagnosis was made. 

Survival became the focus not only for her, but for me. For mom, it was survival, period. For me, it was how to stay connected to my primary person in life when she was drifting away. Sadly, it is natural to adapt to such heartbreak by shutting down the risk of vulnerability—the vulnerability of loving. 

I have spent my life recovering from the loss of my mom. Learning to remove the blocks to opening my heart, falling in love, trusting myself, and trusting life has been a journey. I began teaching what I learned myself (and continue learning) 22 years ago.

My own life experience supported me in mastering the skills of relationship, handling the devastation of loss, and the intimate details of our human capacity to fully love and be loved. 

Tools for Emotional Healing After Loss

Omega: If someone is navigating heartbreak or loss, what are the tools you recommend?

Robyn: When someone is navigating heartbreak or loss, I recommend the Come Back to Love® Four Gate approach—a trauma-informed healing path that supports deep emotional healing, rewiring your mindset, and ultimately creating reconnection with yourself.

The first step (or as I call them, gates) to healing on the Come Back to Love path is to create a safe space to feel your feelings—grief, anger, sadness, confusion—without shame or judgment. Emotional expression is essential to release the pain of the past and provide space for love again. 

The second step is where we dive into the tools of neuroplasticity and literally rewire old patterns that are keeping you stuck. This is also a direct path to not repeating the past. 

The third step or gate helps you shift outdated beliefs, rewrite your personal love story, and build emotional resilience for future connection. A snapshot of your soul’s journey is so helpful. 

After moving through the first three gates, your heart will be more open. Now you can we begin to look at pleasure, desire, and connection to your body. This gate supports you in reconnecting with your body, reclaiming your sensual aliveness, and saying yes to the love you deserve.

Why Relationships Can Be a Path to Deep Transformation

Omega: With so many of our friends these days being single by choice, why do you think it so important for humans to find a lasting relationship?

Robyn: While it’s true that some people today choose to remain single—and find fulfillment doing so—I find intimate relationship transformative and a perfect laboratory for healing. We are inherently relational beings. We’re wired for connection, and while solo growth is vital, a partnership can serve as a catalyst for emotional and spiritual growth. A long-term relationship offers a mirror, reflecting back both our light and our shadows. It invites us to take risks, to be vulnerable, and to stay present even when things get hard.

Relationships can be fertile ground for healing old wounds and creating new patterns of intimacy, trust, and love. In a culture that often celebrates independence, I invite us to remember the profound beauty and growth that comes from connection and collaboration.

How Internal Family Systems Supports Intimacy & Healing

Omega: Can you tell me how Internal Family Systems is integrated in your work?

Robyn: Internal Family Systems has been the foundation of my work since 2000 when I became a client of the work. Learning to see myself as a vast collection of parts was eye opening, healing, and so freeing all at the same time.

After studying IFS, I found it to be not only healing emotionally, but also a doorway to spiritual awareness. “Parts work” as some call it, is part of Gate 1—Beyond the Emotion—in the Come Back to Love methodology. The work is trauma-informed; supporting clients and participants in getting to know their inner landscape through the lens of IFS. 

A Love Story: Rewriting Your Personal Relationship Narrative

Omega: Do you have a success story you can share with us? 

Robyn: I sure do! There are so many people who have either met at a Come Back to Love workshop or retreat and/or brought their partner to a series of workshops and healed a rift between them. One such couple that comes to mind had each been dating for many years post-divorce. She had been choosing to date a few people at the same time and explore. He had been having a series of monogamous relationships that didn’t last very long. They had each let go of the idea of life partnership after being married once, raising kids and being fully engaged in their work.  

They met at one of my retreats and, although had been around each other before, had been basically ignoring each other. On that retreat, their eyes opened to each other and they each got curious. From there, they dated, fell in love, moved in together and a few years later got married! They now co-parent their mostly grown children, enjoy loads of travel together throughout the year, and support each other’s emotional, spiritual, and professional growth.