In this Q&A, spiritual medium Susan Grau explores spirit communication, intuition, grief, and the soul lessons hidden inside life’s challenges.

Is Spirit Communication a Rare Gift?

Susan: This is one of the places where people get stuck, and it makes me want to slow everything way down for them. The biggest misconception is that connecting with the spirit world is rare or reserved for a select few. People think it should look dramatic or feel extraordinary, and when it doesn’t, they assume they’re not doing it right. In reality, Spirit communicates in very quiet, human ways. Most people are already connecting, but they dismiss it because it feels too subtle or too familiar. A sudden knowing, a feeling of closeness, a moment of peace that arrives without explanation. Because it doesn’t look like what they imagined, they label it as coincidence or imagination. 

Another misconception is that you have to try harder. People think connection requires effort, special techniques, or getting into the “right” state. What actually opens communication is softening. When you stop forcing and stop performing, awareness naturally expands. People also believe spirit communication means hearing words or seeing images. Often it doesn’t. It comes through feeling, memory, sensation, or simply knowing. Spirit speaks in the language you already understand, not in a way that feels foreign. Spirit communication isn’t about becoming gifted or special. It’s about remembering something deeply natural. Most people don’t need to learn how to connect. They need to trust what’s already quietly happening.

How Do You Recognize Life’s Soul Lessons During Pain?

Susan: This is such a meaningful question, and one I hear often. People assume the lesson comes after the pain, once things make sense again. But in Infinite Life, Infinite Lessons, I share that it is actually the pain and the uncertainty themselves that open the doorway to the lesson. Earth is a school for the soul because it is immersive. When life feels steady, we move through it on habit and conditioning. But when certainty disappears, something deeper wakes up. Pain slows us down. Uncertainty pulls us out of autopilot. It creates the exact conditions needed for awareness to expand. 

The lesson is rarely a clear insight while you are in the middle of suffering. More often, it is being formed within you. It appears as a boundary you finally hold, a truth you can no longer ignore, or the moment you realize you cannot keep abandoning yourself. The lesson is not separate from the experience. It is born through it.

Instead of asking, 'What is the lesson?' while you are hurting, I invite people to ask gentler, more honest questions. What is this experience asking of me? What am I beginning to see that I could not see before? What part of me is being strengthened, softened, or reclaimed?

With time, uncertainty becomes a doorway rather than an enemy. And when people look back, they often realize the very pain they wanted to escape was what reshaped their awareness, clarified their values, and moved their soul forward in ways comfort never could. The lesson was never hidden. It was unfolding inside you the entire time. Many people long for signs from loved ones who have passed but worry they might be imagining them.

Intuition vs. Wishful Thinking: How Can You Tell the Difference?

Susan: This is such a tender place for people, and I always want to slow the conversation down here. I remind people first that longing does not disqualify an experience. Wanting to feel close to someone you love is not wishful thinking. It is the relationship continuing in a different form. Spirit is not offended by our hope, and they are not asking us to get this “right.” Over time, I’ve noticed that intuition and wishful thinking feel very different inside the body. Wishful thinking carries urgency. It feels tight, anxious, and effortful, as if we are trying to make something happen or convince ourselves. Intuition arrives quietly. It’s calm, steady, and often unexpected. It tends to land with a sense of recognition rather than excitement.

Another difference is how much effort is involved. Wishful thinking usually appears when we are actively searching for a sign. Intuitive moments tend to arrive when we are not trying at all, in ordinary moments when the heart is open and the mind is relaxed. They often carry a softness that stays with you, not because it was dramatic, but because it felt true. Intuition also doesn’t argue with you. It doesn’t need to prove itself. It doesn’t loop in the mind asking for reassurance. It simply arrives, and you’re free to receive it or not. 

Wishful thinking tends to chase certainty. Intuition doesn’t. I also remind people that Spirit is patient. Signs are rarely one isolated moment. They come as patterns, through repetition, through meaning that unfolds gently over time. You don’t have to label everything or dissect every experience. If something brings comfort, peace, or a quiet sense of connection, you are allowed to receive it without overanalyzing it. Love isn’t fragile. And real connection doesn’t require constant proof.

What Does Spirit Teach Us About Grief?

Susan: This is a question that always feels sacred to answer, because grief is such tender ground. What I’ve learned through working with Spirit is that grief is not something that has gone wrong. From their side, grief is seen as a reflection of love, not loss. The love never ends, but the relationship changes form and the human heart needs time to adjust to that shift. Spirit often shows me that grief feels so heavy because the bond is still alive. The connection is still there, but it no longer has a physical place to land. We experience that as absence, while they experience it as transition. That space between those two realities is where the pain lives.

Another thing Spirit gently teaches is that grief is not meant to be rushed or resolved. Healing does not mean letting go. It means learning how to carry love differently. The relationship continues, just in a quieter, more subtle way, until the heart learns how to listen in a new way. From Spirit’s perspective, grief also softens us. It opens us. The tenderness we wish we could escape is often what deepens compassion, intuition, and awareness. 

Grief is not here to break us. It is here to expand us, even though it doesn’t feel that way at first. What most people don’t realize is that their loved ones are not watching them struggle with judgment or impatience. They understand the pain. They are not asking us to move on. They are simply inviting us to keep living, loving, and allowing the bond to evolve rather than disappear. Grief, as Spirit shows it to me, is not the end of love. It is love learning how to live in a new form.